The Non-Godzilla Kaiju That Could Absolutely Kick Godzilla's Scaled Tail (2023)

It's easy to be the "King of the Monsters" when you're the top-grossing star of your franchise.

A perennial question runs through all of pop culture: "Who would win?" This week we have the answers. get ready forPolygon who would win the week.

Even Kevin James could defeat King Ghidorah if the fight took place in Queens. This is really the main reason why Godzilla remains undefeated. Sure, some enemies can KO him temporarily, but at some point he always gets up and says "ROAR' and wins in the end.

But what if Godzilla took on kaiju enemies from other franchisesit is notthe main character? The answer: The black market would be flooded with Godzilla steaks the next day, especially if Big G took on the following monsters.

Belyudra (Mega Monster Battle: Ultra Galaxy Legend)

The Non-Godzilla Kaiju That Could Absolutely Kick Godzilla's Scaled Tail (2) Bild: Warner Bros. Entertainment Japan

Godzilla's height has varied greatly over the years, from around 50 meters (164 feet) in the original 1954 film to over 300 meters (1,000 feet) in the 2017 film.Godzilla: Planet der Monsteranimated film. But you could take the greatest screen Godzilla of all time anddoublehis size and would still be ripped in half by Belyudra as Gojira Slim Jim (Slim Gojim?).

debut inMega Monster Battle: Ultra Galaxy Legend(2009), Belyudra is part of the Ultraman franchise starring biometallic energy giant warriors from another planet who have fought thousands by Kaiju since the series debuted in 1966. And Belyudra is arguably the most powerful Ultraman enemy of all because he literally ismilesby Kaiju. In the film, the monster is created when the evil Ultraman Belial resurrects all of Ultraman's defeated enemies in the Monster Graveyard and, Voltron-style when designed by Satan, mixes them into a fusion abomination that's technically part zombie, part zombie Frankenstein is monster. , and part of Mount Doom.

Belyudra is not only formed from lava, but is about the size of a mountain, with official sources putting its height at 4,000 meters (about 2.5miles). If Godzilla ever stood in front of Belyudra, the cenobite enigma monster would think a kaiju had dropped one of its eyelashes or whatever, and then hurled it at the sun.

Actually, that's not entirely true, because Belyudra doesn't “think”. Rather, it's a massive bio-exoskeleton piloted by Belial, an alien psychogenie named after a biblical demon. InMega-Monster-Kampf, it takes the combined powers of six Ultramen, a Kaiju, and a Battleship to defeat Belyudra. However, in a one-on-one battle between him and Godzilla, the King of Monsters would do the monster mash in two seconds (after Belyudra crushed him into kaiju paste by stepping on it).

Orochi (One-Punch-Man)

The Non-Godzilla Kaiju That Could Absolutely Kick Godzilla's Scaled Tail (3) Image: Ones, Yusuke Murata/Viz Media

Saitama, the protagonist ofone punch manIt's like someone trying to draw Lex Luthor from memory on a bar napkin at 3am and then giving him the power to kill.anythingin one fell swoop But even with such an ironic premise thatOPMManga and anime have become world hits because a lot of creativity and all kinds of crazy ideas have flowed into the story. And probably 90% of that can be found in the series' monster kaiju, Orochi.

Although "Monster King" Orochi originally stood at an unassuming height of 27 meters (about 89 feet), he made short work of Godzilla due to his power over...everything. Imagine kids playing with action figures and inventing their abilities over time, like, "No, your lasers don't deal damage because my guy used an energy barrier." "Well, my boy turns into an acid borer and melts your boy down." "Nuh-uh, because my boy is actually an acidproof diamond fire dragon." "Well, mine turns into a nuclear warplane!" "Well, mine joins God!" All this is Orochi.

The monster's powers included manipulating its body shape at will, breathing fire, and regenerating, all before being fused with a powerful esper and god (long story, don't ask). After fusion, Orochi could use psychokinesis, manipulate gravity, control electricity, fly, YES, transform into a JET like biological Decepticon, and absorb energy from the entire planet (causing a global earthquake) to perform a devastating energy attack. . More importantly, through all of this, Orochi remained fully conscious and actually gained a genius intellect.

And yes, none of that was enough to save Orochi from destruction at the hands of Saitama. But if you pitted Orochi against Godzilla, the atomic lizard would be gone in one fell swoop, man.

Mutter-Legion (Gamera 2: Attack of Legion)

The Non-Godzilla Kaiju That Could Absolutely Kick Godzilla's Scaled Tail (4) Bild: Toho

Gamera is a prehistoric turtle monster that was mutated by radiation from atomic bombs and can now breathe fire.jHe flies through the air and spins at supersonic speeds like a giant shuriken in the shape of a turtle shell, making him the original Mutant Ninja Turtle. For all his powers, Gamera would have been turned into a turtle soup by Mother Legion from the 1996 film.Camera 2: Legionsangriffwithout human intervention.

The alien mother legion looks like a spider, a scorpion and one of the insectsStarship TroopersHad sex and created a whole new phobia. Named after the Legion's biblical demon, the outer-space kaiju almost finished off Gamera early in the film by having his VW Beetle-sized bug children climb over the turtle and drape it like a suit of coarse yarn. The only reason Gamera survived was to escape, a power Godzilla does not have... except in 1971.Godzilla vs. Hedorah, where it could "fly" through atomic burps on the ground. We tend not to talk much about this film.

Eventually, the Mother Legion was able to spawn flying insect soldiers from her body, burrow underground, erect electrical barriers, and fire lasers. He basically won the fight against Gamera just by showing up. But then people got involved, mistaking the swarm of flying insects for radio signals. Since Godzilla has the natural ability to fly off a brick chained to a post, it's fair to say so in a match betweenjusthim and the Mother Legion (without human involvement) Godzilla would be instantly more flawed than riddledCiberpunk 2077and turn his hollowed-out corpse into a puppet to perform silly dances for ML's amusement.

Frankenstein (Frankenstein vs. Baragon)

The Non-Godzilla Kaiju That Could Absolutely Kick Godzilla's Scaled Tail (5) Bild: American International Pictures

Knowledge is knowing that "Frankenstein" was the name of the doctor, not the monster. Wisdom is knowing that the creature, as Dr. Frankenstein's creation was, of course, would inherit her "father's" surname. Japanese science fiction trivia is to know in the 1965 filmfrankenstein vs baragon,The classic character of Mary Shelley became a kaiju with monsters in his blood.

Frankenstein vs. Baragon, released in the States asFrankenstein conquers the world, begins with the original Frankenstein monster's beating heart being shipped to Japan, where scientists determine the creature simply cannot die. As long as a single cell remains, it will eventually come back to life if given enough protein or radiation. At that time, an atomic bomb is dropped on Hiroshima's research laboratory, destroying him and the city, but turning the heart into a whole human being. It takes 15 years for Frankenstein reincarnated to grow up, but as soon as he's discovered, his X-gene or whatever kicks in and he starts to grow and grow until he's 20 meters tall. That's not even half the size of the smaller Godzilla, but in a fight between the two, Frank could still have the upper hand.

As the film explains over and over again, this Frankenstein literally cannot die. If you cut off his arm, it will simply grow back, while the severed body part will eventually regenerate into an entirely new monster when powered by an energy source such as radiation. And lest we forget, Godzilla is a walking symbol of radiation with a signature atomic breath attack. in 2019Godzilla: King of the MonstersDetonating a nuclear warhead right next to his face was like getting a triple espresso in his system. Being in the same contaminated zip code as Godzilla could probably make Frank double the size. Or the number.

We know from the trail of 1966The gigantic war, this DNA left by the Japanese Frankenstein eventually matures over many years into a Bigfoot-like kaiju. But if that DNA was dipped into Godzilla bad breath, the maturation process could be instantaneous. With every drop of blood Frank shed, Godzilla could create a new enemy to fight. Sure, they'd all be a lot smaller than the Monster King, but given enough time, G-Dog would be fighting a whole swarm of enemies, and we've already covered that scenario with Mother Legion. The Winner: Frankenstein, via Technical Patience and Bigfoot Kaiju Blood.

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