It hurts when your best friend becomes your worst enemy. You feel betrayed and struggle to understand how someone so close to you can be so far away. There are often painful recriminations that you have a hard time understanding, and there may also be some responsibility on your part. In many ways, losing a close friend is worse than breaking up, because that is your person, your confidante, your best friend. However, there are ways to cope when your best friend becomes your worst enemy.
1try to talk
The first thing to do when your best friend becomes your worst enemy is to try to talk. It's best if you can do this when you feel the friendship starting to drift into enemy territory, but if that's not possible, at least try as soon as possible. You may have to wait until certain wounds heal or tempers cool down a bit, but if you want to save the friendship, it's worth a try. Understand, however, that it will not always be possible to talk.
2take the time to cry
As I mentioned, the end of a friendship is sometimes even more painful than the end of a romantic relationship. Give yourself time to grieve, even if things get better with time. Losing your friend hurts, and you will never be the same again. You may not be able to trust another best friend anytime soon, and you need to give yourself some time to deal with it.
3Branch out your friendships
However, don't isolate yourself and don't exclude all your other friends. Most importantly, don't let this ending stop you from at least trying to get closer to other friends, even if they're new. You're not trying to make your old best friend jealous here, but you need to make some new friends. Surround yourself with people you like, people you have things in common with, people who seem trustworthy.
4Don't give in to insults
Unfortunately, it's quite common for new enemies to turn bad on each other. Insults, put-downs and accusations abound when two people once so close now use closely guarded secrets and confessions to attack each other. Don't give up, even if your ex-friend is. Be the bigger woman and keep your dignity, even if she seems like she's goading you into responding. In fact, at this point you should make a special effort to restrain yourself and keep your tongue under control.
5ignore the situation
Sometimes you have to ignore your ex-friend. It's going to be hard, especially if you really miss him or if he's gone out of his way to hurt you, but now is not the time to make amends or get into a verbal war. If you ignore his pranks, he will quickly lose strength. Also, if he says bad things about you, your remaining true friends won't believe him; they know you
6Try to understand
This is also difficult, but you should try to understand what went wrong, especially if you are looking for closure or have any hope of mending the friendship one day. You have to take responsibility if you participated in the rape, and to do so you have to understand what happened. You can't blame everything on her and she can't blame everything on you.
If you move in the same circles, work in the same place, or live in the same city, you can't always ignore the situation. Everything's fine. Just be friendly. By being as courteous as possible, again, you will come across as a bigger woman and maintain your self-esteem. In this type of situation, this is incredibly important.
8look for distractions
As with any breakup, distractions will get you through it. Find a new hobby, new friends to hang out with, or new things to do. Dedicate yourself to work or study, practice yoga, get some exercise and don't dwell on past friendships. Reflection is one thing, and there is time for it, but don't make it the only thing on your mind or you will go crazy.
9Realizing it's time to move on
Sometimes friendships can be mended, but other times there is too much damage. Perhaps time will heal these wounds, but that doesn't always happen. Maybe you have no interest in rekindling your relationship, or maybe your friend has given up for good. Whatever the case, realize when you're hitting a dead horse and do everything you can to move in a new direction.
If you're lucky, you've never had to deal with this downright devastating situation. If so, you know how extremely difficult it is. Do you have any tips to share on how you overcame your headache? Tell us how you got over and made up when your best friend became your biggest enemy.
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- best friend
- romantic relationship
- bethanyMine just became best friends with my absolute worst enemy and he hates me.
- kikiI have 2 best friends, E and D... E and I shared a birthday and at the same time we were closer than D and I... Right around E and I's birthday... D and I met. closer. And she didn't seem to notice or care because she was being meaner and meaner to me. I confronted her about it...and she called me childish...I was beyond angry. D corrected us and we were good. not again it's the same but it's ok... Our birthday is coming up we go to church together my mom takes her home so my mom and cousin spend the day together... next Saturday MY birthday party is coming in a bowling alley...me, my dad, my stepmom, my mom, my cousin and my best friends are there... E and D basically leave me all the time and run and play together... I ignore.. .my cousin and E and D are all hung up on D's after... On the car ride to D's I begged my mom all night to let me make this purple vegan hair dye because D had...and she says no so like a normal teenager i pout and have a bit of an attitude...and she tries to be a mom and scolds me like she always does and i'm already a little pissed off early so i hit her and tell her she's not it's my mom at the same time my mom does it... we arrive at D's house she throws my shoe and runs inside D follows me... I hide her shoe and wait outside with n my cousin.... she entered D's room... and SHE gets angry with me. ..and she doesn't want to tell me why and she yells at me not to go near her leave her alone...don't touch her...so I tell her to fuck off and go down to the basement to calm down... . so i decide to be the bigger person one more time and try to talk to her... her, D and my cousin are on the back porch and E is crying... this may sound very selfish but i don't understand birthday to me So I have a birthday party for myself and she does it for HER!! and how she misses her mother... I try to comfort her by talking about how I understand why my father spent a year in prison and I felt that he abandoned me... (her mother lives in another state) she says you don't understand and walks away D He follows her I get angry again and go down to the basement… where they… are talking and immediately stops when my cousin and I walk into the living room we go to a different room in the basement and play pool with her , so I try to help AND again they stop talking as soon as I enter the room or E goes up the stairs... D tells me to go away and E to come back. .after a while E and D come back and we all decided to watch movies on the xbox...things are normal...but E hasn't changed I just started to take things better but today I was tired of and called her on the so D A DEFENDS....and now I always feel like a third wheel around them... I don't care if I lose E but I can't sso lose D she IS MY BEST FRIEND I have never used before so this is special to me. .. I don't know what to do please help me...
- WakeMy best friend is getting very close with my stalker who stalked me for 5 years! I don't know what to do!? It's really disturbing that we're not closer!
- DeniseHello Estela. Have you ever told your best friend how you feel?
- summerThis has happened to me. And these tips would have been very helpful.
- Aria@Christine It looks like you just need to talk to her and explain what you just told us. I'm sure she'll understand since she's your best friend. If you only have sincere intentions, she'll show up and she'll see it too.
- CristinaI really need some advice... My best friend since 5th grade (we are now in 2nd year) heard a rumor that I might have lied to her about a guy... I am a compulsive liar, but I NEVER lied to my best friend... Today she ignored me when i tried to get her attention and my sister even asked her if she and I are still friends and she replied "I don't know". I've been with her for so long and she, I think, decides to believe the rumor. Please help me... I don't know what to do and I started crying at school and stayed half an hour in the bathroom. I don't want to lose my best friend...
- emily@Evangeline, the EXACT same thing happened to me. I've been best friends with my best friend for 12 years and she believed a rumor about a guy named Ben, my other friend told her and now 3 of my best friends have stopped talking to me (it's been 3 weeks)
- Amie@Christine If she doesn't want to talk to you face to face, try sending her an email or text explaining that the two of you really need to talk because someone accused you of doing something you would never do to them. Not everything is lost.
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